In the title of her book, Girlfriend of Bill, author Karen Nagy riffs on the time-honored public code for mutual AA recognition: “Are you a friend of [AA co-founder] Bill?
” Nagy says she was unable to find any material written “specifically for someone who is new to such a relationship or who is thinking about dating someone in recovery.” So she wrote one, and the publishing arm of Hazelden brought it out.
The following are five signs that sex could be undermining your recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. Engaging in Sex or Relationships During Drug Rehab Most drug rehab centers have strict rules against fraternizing with staff or clients.
While it may seem juvenile to forbid grown adults from having sex or engaging in a relationship, these rules are in place to protect the recovery of every client in drug rehab.
But if dating people who participate in AA or NA is not your thing, than Nagy suggests dating people from SMART recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety, church, mental health peer support programs, therapy groups, and so on.
Her own experience, however, appears mainly limited to men in and out of 12-Step recovery programs.
People in Hazelden-style recovery (Nagy calls them “PIRs”) can present challenges, since, as Nagy learned by dating several of them, stopping drinking or using is not necessarily the end of the matter.
I know many ladies (and gentlemen) struggle with these issues, too, so I asked one of them if I could share our correspondence, and she agreed.But before you put yourself in a position to fall for an addict, there are a few things you need to know: For anyone considering dating an active addict, it is important to realize that love cannot conquer addiction.Addiction takes priority over everything – you, children, career, financial security, even one’s own freedom.For others, one soured relationship can trigger a surge of dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors, eventually leading to relapse.Is your recovery solid enough to withstand a relationship?(I’ve removed her name.) Her letter, and my response, is below.